Dehradun, March 31 -- Manish John.

'Everyone's a trifle touched up here - except for you and me!' says Anil Prakash, adding, 'At times, even you look weird!'

'There!' Mr Agarwal exclaimed, who looked like a spudding potato with flaring nostrils and a nose that twitched whenever he lied. 'That's my house!' he beamed, brimming with confidence.

Of course, it was not his house - the last English owner, a certain Mr Michael Hartley of Lakhimpur Kheri, scuttled ship when independence came and went back home. He simply abandoned the old summer homestead.

'It looks like a case of intestate,' said the lawyers.

Sixty years and two suicides later, no local would venture near the place (that's except the odd lovers seeking a furtive tryst.)

'Th...