Srinagar, March 17 -- The public prosecutor repeatedly persuaded the judge to issue the death penalty to the bear for mauling an innocent man. "Your Honour! The bear is guilty of mangling people; he is a beast, a deadly brute, a fiendish monster who inflicts pain upon weak creatures. Capital punishment is the least punishment he deserves," exclaimed the prosecuting attorney.

The dejected bear stood up from the witness box and said, "My Lord, I should be allowed to plead my case because none of the homo sapiens came forward in my defense. So, I may be accepted as my own counsel."

"Permission granted," stated the judge.

The despondent bear took an unusual pause, as if he had forgotten everything. His throat appeared clogged, and he clear...