India, Nov. 8 -- The shaadi (wedding) season is upon us, a time when the Indian man is confused about whether to dress up like the long-gone gora saahibs (White overlords) or try and mimic some erstwhile maharaja's attire. A suit or a sherwani - the choice rests on which version of Stockholm syndrome you are particularly prone to. Attending a wedding is like time travel. You meet people from your past - relatives who held you in their arms, cousins you grew up with, and that cheery uncle with paan stained teeth who grabbed your father's ancestral land. And even the same judgemental guests who comment on the bride's weight and the wedding feast alike.

Wedding dates are almost always decided by astrologers, and hence converge at that parti...