India, April 7 -- I've never been to a concert nor witnessed a live performance by a famous artiste - not for the lack of opportunity, but by choice. The reasons are plenty: I have no desire to stand in serpentine queues just to gain entry into an overcrowded venue; nor do I fancy being wedged between a sea of sweaty fans screaming themselves hoarse, while a few faint either from exhaustion or a flair for the dramatic.

Frankly, I prefer enjoying my favourite artistes in the comfort of my home, where the volume is set to soothe my ears, not perforate them. And let's not forget the piece de resistance, waiting endlessly for performers who believe that strolling in fashionably late somehow elevates their stardom. Sorry, but my precious time...