India, June 21 -- I have a deep-seated aversion to AI-generated content. Even so, watching Chris Evans deliver his heroic monologue in Materialists (2025) made me wish there was a version of Celine Song's new film in which artificial intelligence had scrubbed Evans out and replaced him with Cary Grant. Or a young Shammi Kapoor. Or Gong Yoo (of Train to Busan). Or Richard Ayoade (of The IT Crowd).

Evans is the petard on which Materialists hoists itself.

He plays John, the quintessential artist: short on money, but tall in every other way. He is a man of passion and sensitivity; a man who makes love seem easy. Unfortunately, when embodied by Evans, John has all the charm of melting vanilla ice-cream. He doesn't make one want to throw caut...