India, Feb. 5 -- Rahul & Anjali (Kuch Kuch Hota Hai). In the film, Anjali waits a lifetime for Rahul to choose her. He only does so after she performs femininity correctly. 2026 Anjali ain't got no time for that. She'd rethink her sexual identity, post about queerness, neurodivergence, basketball and MyMuse. She'd forget Rahul. He'd marry Tina and they'd name their daughter Samaira. Aman would take his green-flag energy elsewhere.

Jack & Rose (Titanic). A ship sinks, class rebellion passes for romance. Were the Titanic on her maiden voyage today, she would be a playground for tech-bro billionaires. Rose would hate being a nepo baby; Jack would be a laid-off underling. They'd hook up. But she'd have to sell her Heart of the Ocean to survi...