India, June 27 -- Vampires are back. In Sinners, they're sexy and menacing. In Nosferatu, they're just a Gothic hot mess. The last time this happened was with Twilight, right in the middle of the 2008 financial crisis. And notably before that, the Dracula movie that came out in 1931, amid the Great Depression. It's not correlation. It's not causation. It's nothing. And yet, people are convinced that when the fangs come out, it's a recession omen.

They're bringing out the psychobabble too. Vampires are a projection of our fears, apparently. And, vampires are basically Wall Street bros: They party all night, date much younger women, draining people's blood and capital. And they don't care about rising grocery costs; blood is free, right? ...