Nigeria, Nov. 15 -- There are many dangerous things one can attempt in Nigeria:



* Arguing with LASTMA

* Driving through Apapa at noon

* Or trying to convince a Nigerian mother that you're "full"



But at the very top of that national list of death-wish activities sits this one:



Attempting to be Wike on a day the universe needs a laugh.



The Nigerian social media space is still vibrating-yes, vibrating-after the great desecration of Abuja's self-acclaimed landlord. Until that fateful day, Wike recognized only one god in Abuja: Wike. Certainly not Tinubu. Not the Constitution. Not even common sense.



As Minister of the FCT, he demanded to be approached the way ancient Egyptians approached Pharaoh-with fear, trembling, and ...