Nigeria, June 5 -- Boarding announcements were not an issue when I used to commute in Lagos by danfo, the ubiquitous yellow buses, or molue, the mass-transit lorries, which were improvised for public transportation.

The conductors often had a melodious and entertaining way of calling passengers that was enjoyable to hear. They called out in a drawl, accompanying each announcement with a warning for passengers to board with their change in hand or risk a "forced marriage," which meant giving a fixed sum, usually a bank note, to two or more passengers to share at disembarkation.

Flying is a luxury - or should be - with no room for bus conductors and their outrageous threats of forced passenger marriages. But vehicle conductors across the ...