Nigeria, July 26 -- Once upon a compound, somewhere between a barbing salon and a bending corner, Nigeria took English, turned it upside down, added stew, and served it with grammar rice. And that, dear compatriots, was how our English problem started. Let's not pretend. The British came, dropped English like it was pure gold, and left. The Americans came after, swagging it up. But Nigerians? We looked at both, squinted, and said, "This grammar too dry, make we add pepe." And add pepper, we did. Take a simple word like "Extreme." - British: Extreme - American: End - Nigeria: Extreme end - because why end something simply when you can end it extremely? Or how about "Shorts"? - British: Knicker - American: Short - Nigeria: Short knicker - c...