Nigeria, Dec. 18 -- Even after all these years, the memory that sticks out to me most was how I was told of the death of my mother, Mojisola Ajoke Adelakun.

That moment became definitive for me, almost like the death of Jesus came to define western time as BC and AD. Some days, I try to overwrite that moment by thinking of the million other things that our mother, Mrs Adelakun, did that lit up our lives. Like the days she would return from work, and we the children would go welcome her and she would hand over a handbag to one person, take off her earrings and necklace to hand it over to another child, all the while asking about our day.

But it turns out that reviving caked up memories requires a lot of salty tears. Even worse, all the s...