Kathmandu, April 9 -- Fed up with all the dismal news? Bored with politics? Irked by nosey parker journalists? Then we have good news for you in 2078.

Under the new guidelines of the Ministry of Information and Communism (Motto: 'No news is good news.') the media will undergo a paradigm shit by playing a "constructive" role in covering news of new view towers, and the one bridge in Gulmi that did not collapse.

The following content has been vetted for veracity and is certified by the new office bearers of the Federal Democratic Union of Nepalese Journalists as fit for human consumption. It is a self-evident truth that the mass media plays an important role in our Feral Republic, so we can present the news without fear or favour, and let...