Kuala Lampur, Sept. 28 -- During an impromptu coffee break, I was talking with my mentor about my own strong headedness. She shared her experience of having a relative in service, before turning to me with a question: 'Why are the children of ex-servicemen always so rebellious?'

I was not sure whether she was being entirely serious or whether the question was rhetorical, perhaps even meant to tease me.

Nonetheless, I offered what sounded like an explanation, or perhaps just a rationalisation.

We were not really bad kids, I told her. We were simply pushing back against the kind of discipline that hung over our homes like a shadow.

As I reflect on it now, I realise that what we called "rebellion" was our way of asserting ourselves in fa...