Kuala Lampur, Sept. 7 -- It was billed as a historic dinner at the White House - but what America got was a Michelin-starred butt-kissing festival, a banquet where the appetizers were flattery, the main course was obsequiousness, and dessert was one billionaire after another groveling like interns fighting for unpaid overtime. Donald Trump sat at the head of the table like a sun-burnt Roman emperor, beaming as America's smartest men turned into human Hallmark cards.

And in the middle of it all, the biggest irony: five of these high priests of tech are Indian-origin, yet Trump has India marinated in tariffs so high you'd think dal and dosa were weapons of mass destruction.

Oh, and Elon Musk wasn't there. The one man who would've turned t...