Kuala Lampur, April 11 -- Donald, you just handed the world another greasy reason never to trust a deal with you.

One breath, it's 125 per cent. Next breath, it's 10 per cent.

Next breath, maybe it's oxygen, maybe it's carbon monoxide.

Hell, even the weathervane is begging for early retirement. North? South? Spin like a lunatic and hope you don't blow off the roof.

You call this negotiation? No, sir.

This is a toddler in a casino, clumsily pumping quarters into the slot machine of global trade, praying for cherries, while the house watches with a smirk.

This isn't strength.

This is instability, wearing a red tie two inches too long and a spray tan thick enough to slip sanctions through.

Serious countries-civilizations with a memor...