Kuala Lampur, Feb. 19 -- Something's got to give, sometimes.

In my case it was my pretending that I could keep being resilient without cracking - evidenced by the loud guttural howl-scream when my water bottle tipped into my bag and submerged all its contents, including my laptop and hospital documents.

My hospital appointment book, my echocardiogram request form, my power bank and everything else inside were soaked and I knew, irretrievably altered.

Kind of like what cancer does to your life, if you think about it.

A last minute rescheduling of a gynaecologist appointment meant my trying to fit it into a day when I already had work as well as a visit to the clinic for an immunity jab.

It didn't cross my mind to move it, to put it on...