NEW DELHI, April 24 -- The wife came bouncing into my study, where I pretended to write an article while actually looking longingly at some online shopping clothes, "There's some government officials to see you!" she said.

"Oh no!" I said, "Have they come to arrest me?"

"They're not cops," she said, "I think they're going to give you some award!"

"Award! Me!" I said, "Awards are only given to people with political contacts!"

I wandered into my sitting room, and watched as two obviously government officials, rose and extended their hands in my direction, "We are honoured to have you on board sir!"

"On board!" I said, "I'm quite happy where I am!"

"You have been chosen unanimously as the country's new historian!"

"Whoa! Whoa!" I said...