India, Dec. 21 -- Delhi's toxic air is a scandal, a global scandal. And it is going to be so, for the foreseeable future. Just imagine, visualise, this conversation between a young Delhi-based corporate employee from the South and his wife who is expecting their first child. Wife: I am fed up. I cannot breathe. I want to go back to Chennai. Husband: Leaving me alone? Wife: What "alone"? Are you a child ? What about me? And our child who is going to be born? You go happily to your office which has air-purifiers, leaving me alone in this suffocating place. I cannot stay indoors because I cannot keep the windows open and I cannot step outdoors. Can you imagine what this may be doing to the baby? I cannot tolerate this Delhi. Husband: Every place has its problems. Chennai has mosquitos. Wife: Don't you try to be clever with me. Just try staying at home. You say you will work overtime and make an excuse to go to your office. Husband: I get a heavy overtime compensation. You know we need that money. Wife: Money is all you care for. You keep your overtime and let me go. I am going to speak to my father to arrange my return. I was going anyway for the baby's birth. Husband: Okay, go. Wife: "Okay, go"? So simple for you, isn't it? Make a bed for yourself in your air-purified office also. Overtime!! Wife shuts the door with a bang after her husband, who gets on to his scooterette to drive to work. How, apart from the hapless residents of the national capital, representatives of other world capitals put up with Delhi's pollution is another amazement. Diplomats posted to a country have no choice but to serve in the countries to which they stand accredited. But what of their spouses and children? One can imagine the following conversation in the homes of diplomats stationed in Delhi. Spouse: I cannot take it any longer. Diplomat: You have no choice. Spouse: What do you mean? You may have no choice. I do. Let me tell you, in no uncertain terms, I do. My eyes are my own, my throat is my own, my lungs are my own, my heart beats are my own. They have no diplomatic status, only a medical status and they are telling me to get the hell out of here, and now! I have a choice and I am going to exercise it. Either I get back home or get out of your house. You keep your job, I will keep my life. And our children. Diplomat : Shhh. softly. Spouse: What do you mean softly? Our elder girl comes back from school with a sore throat, our son with swollen and reddened eyes. And the little one? She is too small to tell us if she has any trouble breathing, but I can see her chest heave Diplomat : Softly, please. The staff can hear. Spouse: The staff? They should listen. Let them hear us. They care for our children, because we care for theirs. Do you even know how many children our cook has? How many do the two maids have? I know them well. I share our children's clothes with them. You won't have even noticed this, but for the past week, the maids' children have been sleeping in our living room because it has an air purifier. Let them hear me. Diplomat: Listen, what if they make Delhi a hardship posting because of its pollution? We will get an extra allowance. Spouse: Will a few extra dollars give our children their health back? You keep your dollars and let me get the hell out of here. Diplomat: Think of what people will say. Not least of all, our colleagues. Spouse:Let me tell you I have made friends here in Delhi with people -- real people, lovely people. They will miss me and I will miss them. But they are my friends for life.I adore them. They will understand my leaving. And they will judge you. Diplomat: Listen. Listen! Spouse leaves the room, banging the door after her/him. These two conversations do not have an ounce of exaggeration in them. Let us be sure they are taking place right now. The Supreme Court was right in saying there is no magic wand to solve the air quality slump in Delhi. A long-term strategy has to be adopted. And that strategy has to be comprehensive, completely out of the box. Delhi must relocate many of its institutions. It must remain the nation's capital - no question about that. But it has to become a leaner, cleaner city - not the present flabby and fouled-up tangle of vehicles and buildings, all making life miserable for its residents. The powers must, quickly and with due multi-agency processes, take the following measures. They must move sessions of Parliament out of Delhi to state capitals, by rotation, using the Vidhan Sabhas when not in session, and all the infrastructure of the Vidhan Sabhas. But what of the government offices that have to be linked to Parliament? A predictable objection. But one that need not intimidate the suggestion of shifting. Since the business of the session is known, the concerned ministries can also have temporary camp offices set up in the state capital. Moreover, what in our present age cannot be attended to virtually? The Supreme Court must be requested, with great respect, to open Benches in at least four state capitals, particularly Srinagar, if only to give the abrogation of Article 370 of the Constitution a living operationalisation. At least two dozen major "national institutes" that function out of Delhi for no specific reason should be identified and moved out of their present premises to locations well outside Delhi. The annual Republic Day festivities, including the parade, can be held in state capitals by rotation. The State must completely prohibit all fireworks in the national capital not just on Diwali or during the festival season, but at all times. The odd-even regime for vehicle movement can be brought back and a cap on the private non-commercial ownership of vehicles can be enforced. Also, enforce without remorse the retrenchment of air-polluting vehicles after a verification of their quality levels after pollution checks. These vehicles do no less damage to national safety than infiltrators. The modalities for permission to build and expand old buildings in the national capital must be tightened so as to discourage the city's unchecked, self-hurting obesity. A complete embargo on international conclaves and meets in Delhi, whether government-organised or privately choreographed for five years, can be thought of, giving other cities in the country the benefit of these gatherings. A similar check, if not a complete embargo, on national-level gatherings in Delhi between August and March, must also be implemented, leaving the period between April and July alone for such gatherings. A senior cabinet minister must be appointed to be in charge of a Mission Save Delhi From Itself, not just in the urgent matter of pollution but also from the very real seismic hazards seismologists warn of for Zone IV regions, such as the one that cradled Delhi. Only a Prime Minister such as the present one has the strength to do this. We cannot sleep over the air sickness crisis in Delhi for even one more day....