They did not ghost you, they banksied you
India, July 18 -- Have you felt like your partner is slowly detaching from you? Emotionally pulling away and withdrawing their feelings? But there are no fights, no arguments, just widening distance. It's a phenomenon that has been around for a while, yet now there is a term for it- 'Banksying,' which makes 'ghosting' seem considerably more courteous. But how did this term get here? The word takes shape after England-based street artist, Banksy. He creates his work and then vanishes without any announcement whatsoever.
Why do people do this? Dating coach Pratik Jain tells us, "We are not taught communication (especially in intimate contexts) etiquette in our younger years. When one person is clear that they want to end a relationship, they know that direct communication will lead to instant conflicts, tensions, and drama from the other person. So, to avoid this burden, detaching is a safe way to go about it (at least for the initiator)."
Dr Pavitra Shankar, associate consultant - psychiatry at Aakash Healthcare, explains that this emotional withdrawal could be considered a form of passive-aggressive behaviour or emotional manipulation.
"It's a covert way of expressing anger, discomfort, or disconnection, forcing the partner to guess or interpret the silence. While it may not always be intentional, this behaviour creates emotional confusion and shifts the burden of resolution onto the other person," she says.
The psychological impact on the partner being banksied can be significant and long-lasting. They may experience confusion, self-doubt, and a deep sense of rejection because there is no clear closure or communication. "This can erode self-esteem and trigger abandonment wounds, especially in individuals with insecure attachment styles. It can also induce anxiety in future relationships," says Dr Shankar.
How can you protect yourself? Pratik shares a few signs to spot if you suspect something is awry:...
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