TANZANIA, June 9 -- TANZANIAN dance music is not dead. Its just very, very tired, broke, and forgotten, somewhere in the corner of a dusty bar in Buguruni, sipping warm beer and wondering how it all went so wrong.

Once upon a groove, dansi, rumba, and taarab ruled our nights like gods of rhythm.

They made couples fall in love, politicians sweat at fundraisers, and aunties swing their kangas like certified dancers from Msondo Ngoma University.

Fast forward to now, and the only thing dancing is Singeli, bouncing so fast that it sounds like your neighbours blender choking on mango seeds.

Meanwhile, rumba is breathing through musical oxygen, dansi is in ICU, and taarab is reading its will.

The culprit? Well, its a long list, but lets sta...